March 09, 2006

From The Annals of The Aqua Jog Lane

Morning Workout
20 minutes
Heart Rate: Really high. Teetering on the edge of "too high". If this were biking, I'da been in Steady State Threshold (Zone 4), but it's not biking, is it.

2500 yards
Main Set: 5 x 200 yards (off 15 seconds) + 5 x 100 yards (off 15 seconds)

45 minutes
Main Set (Yes, there was actually a set): 2 minutes hard tempo run + 1 minute easy. Repeat ten times.

Random Comments: I've got a doozie of a story for you from the annals of the aqua jog lane. We fade in to our adventure with a spotlight on the fifty-five year old chinese lady. And me, serenely minding my own business, jog belt strapped firmly about my mid-section, bounding about the deep-end of the pool when alas, do my ears deceive me, or is it the sweet whisper of the hummingbird coo-cooing at me from behind. I harkened closely, eager to grasp the joy of the elegant bird, nature's sweet little wonder. And as it bore closer, I realized that my ears were in fact deceiving me. There was no bird inside this pool. Nothing sweet nor little. Instead, it was the fifty-five year old chinese lady, and she was boring down on me slowly and painfully, slogging through the water in her old lady breast-stroke. You know the style, where the flower-printed shower capped head never actually gets in the water. It's less like swimming and more like treading water forward. So as she's moving along on the old lady breast-stroke, her mouth is in the water and she's humming a tune by blowing bubbles. Kinda like a three year old does at the breakfast table with a glass of chocolate milk before his father rolls up the newspaper, cocks his arm back and wallops the kid halfway across the state. As it turns out, that's exactly what I felt like doing every time she came bubble humming by me. And every one of those times she passed me by, I'd listen extra sharply to try and figure out what song she was singing. If for nothing else than to make this experience a bit less annoying. Yet for the life of me I couldn't figure it out. Musta been a chinese folk song or something. But that's not even the all of it. Get this... Every single time the fifty-five year old chinese lady finished a lap - she'd hold on to the edge and with a big bold CCCCHHHHAT-PTEWIE!, she'd spit on the side of the pool. Then she'd turn around, assume the old lady breast stroke, dip her mouth in the water and resume her bubble blowing, chinese folk song humming workout. Frankly, my friend, it was repulsive.

These are the types of things that happen in the Aqua Jog Lane.