March 02, 2006

The Cold War at The Pool

Morning Workout
2600 yards
Main Set: 10 x 50 yards (10 seconds rest) / 4 x 400 yards (20 seconds rest)

AQUA JOGGING (shut up!)
30 minutes

Evening Workout
1 hour

Random Comments: It's not that I don't like old people. I do. They're almost like normal people. It's just that they're so.....well.... old. As if it's not embarrassing enough that I'm jogging in the pool, I've got to be jogging with all the blue-haireds. There's actually a woman that rolls up in a wheelchair and, after 10 minutes of concerted effort, finally makes it down the steps of the pool only to flounder in the water for 15 minutes before she pulls herself back up onto her chair and wheels herself away. That's the lane I jog in. The geriatric lane. Basically, to get there you just go to the slow lane and take a left.

So there I am doing my pool jogging, minding my own business, focusing on my efforts. The only things keeping me afloat are the turtleneck jog belt and my pride. When all of the sudden two elderly ladies meander into the geriatric lane with me. One of them, the fat one, starts doing some quasi-workout where she'd treadwater from one end of the pool to another, then hang on the edge and push herself up and down for a few minutes, only to tread back to the other end of the pool and repeat the process. The other lady, the thin one, is playing around with a jog belt - which apparently is her very own and not one of the ugly yellow ones like the one I borrowed from the YMCA. So she's aqua jogging up and down the geriatric, the three of us trying not to run into each other in what seems like a cross between a game of chicken and cat and mouse. And when these two ladies pass me by, I can hear them talk in their Russian-sounding accents. I have no idea what they are saying, but it leaves me with a random craving for borscht... and I hate beets. So a few minutes later I look up and see them both at the other end of the pool. I can hear them yabbering back and forth to each other in their thick SlovakoKhazakstoBelarussian drawl, only to see them both look up at me, point and laugh.

You got a problem ladies?! I yell to myself. Why don't you aqua jog your asses down here and Sprechen ze Russian right to my face?! Who's laughing now, huh?! Yeah, you wanna piece of this!!!?? Oh, I'll splash you till the Cold War starts again, we'll see who's laughing...

That was the conversation in my head as I continued on with their aqua jogging. Suddenly the fat lady goes back to her pool side push-ups as the other one - and the clear leader of this gang - starts aqua jogging back to my side of the pool. She comes by me, touches the wall and turns to aqua jog back. As she's passing me by, she steals a glance at me, let's out a grand old smile and says light-heartedly, I'm going faster zen you!
Yeah, whatever..... old person.