December 05, 2005

That Claus Character

Morning Workout
1 hour on trainer
Zone: 3 x (10 min Lactate Threshold + 10 min Aerobic)
Random comments: Love the 1 hour workouts on the trainer - enables me to watch a TV show in it's entirety. I watched West Wing during the workout this morning. Unfortunately, it was a crappy episode of West Wing, and there I was, stuck on the trainer, unable to change the channel. I decided then and there that I'll start watching movies while on the trainer. See how my mind changes so qu
ickly? It's not easy being me.

What a great weekend I had. And it wasn't the type of great weekend where I found my way muddling through the days only to wake up on Monday morning and think "wow, that was a great weekend. Where the heck did it disappear to." No siree. It was one of those weekends that seemd to last for months, where I fully enjoyed each moment as it was happening. Where I savored each moment. Be here now, and all that crap.

Here's the irony of it all. Remember that big client opportunity that I lost last Thursday? The one that had me taking a Louisville Slugger to a poor defenseless office chair? Well, the whole platform I pitched on that business was based on "Savor The Moment." The concept being that your life is not happening tomorrow or yesterday but, in the immortal words of Van Halen, right here right now. So when I lost the business, I immediately started thinking about what I could've done differently in the past and what I'm going to do in the future, until I ran smack dab into the present. And that's where the weekend started.

I'm not going to bore you with the details of the weekend, but all I'm gonna tell you is that I'm not a big fan of Santa Claus anymore. You see, one night every year the shopping district in Santa Monica keeps its doors open late and has, essentially, a holiday street fair. There is caroling, wine and cheese, homemade cookies, popcorn and the local optomotrist's kick-ass chili that is so hot it burns every organ in your body from the point where it enters to the orifice from which it exits. It's some goo-ood chili.

So Catherine and I are walking around the Santa Monica Fest, going in and out of stores, having a cookie here, some cider there. When all of the sudden we see Santa Claus in the Coldwell Banker Realtor offices, just a-settin' there getting his picture taken with the chil'en. Well, we couldn't resist. We went in and stood in line for our Santa photo.

A few snotty kids jumped in line ahead of us but, being in the festive mood, I decided not to snarl at them directly, opting for the simple behind-the-back eyeroll instead. Finally it was our turn for the Santa photo-op. Cat sat on one of Santa's knees and I sat on the other. It was clear from the moment we walked up that Santa had a little thing for my woman. He immediately pulled her to his leg and put his arm around her with a jolly warmth and a bit too much ho-ho-ho for my liking. I think he may have even tried to straighten out his other leg and push me into the christmas tree when I started sitting down. Needless to say, we didn't get off to a great start, Santa and me. Truth be told, this Claus character was pissing me off from the get-go. I didn't like the look in his eye and I didn't appreciate the thoughts he was having about my girlfriend. Regardless, I smiled at the camera and - flash! - our photo was taken.

We started standing up but apparently Santa wasn't done with Catherine yet. "Wait a minute, young lady," he said, pulling her back on his leg. Not wanting to leave this crochety old man alone with Cat, I sat back down on his other leg, ready to quickly kick him in the nether-region if he started acting up. "Have you been good this year?" the bearded wackjob asked Catherine. "Yes, I have" she replied. Wanting to get in on the conversation, and stake my proverbial claim, I decided to speak up. "No, she hasn't," I said laughingly.

Well, apparently that really riled up ole' St. Nick. He turned to me with a look in his eye that pretty much confirmed I wouldn't be getting any presents this year. And when he spat out the words "I wasn't talking to you" it sounded oddly as if he were begging me to take a swing at him so he can go all Blitzen on my sorry ass. So what's a guy to do? I mean, I couldn't exactly start arguing with Santa Claus. Yeah, I'm a jew but... it's Santa Claus for godsakes!!

I sat there in shock as Catherine and Claus finished their lovely conversation. Finally we got up, got our photo and I walked out in shock. I stood on the sidwalk in shock. I remember only uttering two words.

"Fuck Santa"

I've never come so close as in that moment to wanting to hit a mythical character, but I guess the holiday season brings out the best in all of us.

We continued our walk up the street, past the carolers, the homemade cookies and the old school popcorn maker. And it wasn't long until the fa-la-la-la-la's and rump-a-bum-bum's started seeping through my skin and injecting that festive spirit back in my soul.

I soon began to realize that life, in all its peculiarness and oddity, is truly beautiful. And I began to savor the moment. Right here. Right now.