May 11, 2006

Mama Never Told Me There'd Be Days Like These

Morning Workout
30 minutes in circles around the track
Heart Rate Zone: Lactate Threshold (Zone 2)

Main Set: Supposed to be 4 x 400 meters but I only made it through 3 x 400 meters before the pool closed or I got frustrated enough to walk away - whichever came first.

Random Comments: This week sucks. I feel like I'm moving backwards in fitness with every workout I do. Honestly, I'm so frustrated I just want to quit all of this training. Screw the Auburn race next weekend. Forget Ironman. Forget it all. I'm done.

As you know, my Lactate Threshold testing on the bike earlier this week proved to me that after 5 months of training I've not improved at all. To the contrary, I've actually gone backwards in some areas. And then this morning's run, aside from the tremendous pain in the lower leg region, was so incredibly slow for such an incredibly high heart rate. In my better days, I'd run 7 minute miles for hours on end. Today, I'm struggling to hold 11 minute miles for 30 minutes. And then that leads to the swim, which this morning was more sink than swim. My arms weren't moving properly and it felt like I was flailing out there. Swimming is, by far, my least favorite of the three sports and unfortunately, by far, the one that I'm the best at. That in itself is annoying for a few reasons. First of all, I've been running for 25 years and biking for 12. I've only been swimming for 3 years. The numbers alone should indicate that I should be better at the other two. The fact is, I'm not even that good of a swimmer, I just have grown to suck at running and biking. As if that's not enough, the swim is such a minor part of Ironman (and triathlon in general). Of the 140-odd miles, I'm only swimming for 2.4 of them. Of the 13-15 hours I'll be out there, I'll only be swimming for 80 minutes. It means nothing. The fact that I'm a better swimmer than biker or runner makes me want to stop swimming altogether.

You must be in the best shape of your life, people say to me when they hear that Ironman is right around the corner.

No. I'm not. But thank you for reminding me.

The thing is, I know I'll have a workout sometime in the future that I'm going to feel great about. And my frustration will subside. But right now it hasn't. Right now I'm angry. And strike me down with lightning if that's what it'll take, but I just want to sit here and wallow alone in my discontent for a few minutes.


Kylie said...

Ugg... it's tough that your down week and your testing were at the same time! And I totally hear with hating to hear "ou must be in great shape" when it is the last thing I feel.