May 08, 2006

I'm Back (Pun Intended)

Morning Workout
1 mile (1600 meters)

Random Comments: As you probably know, my back has been in a tremendous amount of pain all week. It hurt when I sat, it hurt when I stood and laying down wasn't much better. As long as I was breathing, I had discomfort in the lower back. And knowing that "stop breathing" was one alternative to curing my annoying ailment, it wasn't necessarily my first choice of solutions. In fact, I wouldn't even put it in the top 10. Unfortunately, I didn't know what the other 9 options were.

Truth be told, it started getting me really nervous and depressed. I started having thoughts about my body not being able to withstand this sustained level of training. And since training is just going to increase for the next two months, I had fears of whether I'd even be able make it to the starting line of Lake Placid. And if I got to the starting line, how the heck would I find my way to the finish. Hell, I nearly got put out due to my back last year - and that was just for a half-Ironman. Now I've got to figure out how to make my body survive twice the distance without falling apart in my best post-wall Humpty Dumpty impression.

You can probably imagine how these thoughts just kepts swirling around in my brain. And that's just plain unhealthy.

So I went to the physical therapist a couple of times throughout the week and had my back prodded and stretched. I stood up more erect than I ever have in my life. My nose and toes were always pointing in the same direction. I sat with my feet directly in front of me and I got into my car without turning my back at all, quite the feet considering my compact car. (Yeah, I said quite the feet. And, yeah, that pun was intended too). The result of all this? More pain. I couldn't workout at all this week aside from that swim and sad-excuse-for-an-Aqua Jog on Thursday.

Then we get to Friday night. I had plans to go out for drinks and dinner with my friend Jay. So after surviving a pain-filled, good posture day, I met Jay at a local hip bar for a cocktail where I proceeded to have my standard vodka cocktail. Little did I know that vodka had somehow turned into a miracle cure.

The moment that vodka hit my lips, I could feel my body relax, just like Daffy Duck melting off the seat. It felt goooood. I sat there for a few minutes sipping on the drink and talking to Jay. And then a few minutes later I stopped myself mid-sentence. Wait a minute, I thought. Somethings missing. I turned my body around to the right. Then to the left. Nothing. No pain. No discomfort. Holy cow! I took another sip. No back pain! No back pain! I took another sip. This is amazing! I feel great! I took another sip.

I couldn't believe it. I was so excited, so revived. The next morning I woke up and, lo and behold, the pain was still gone. I'm cured! I'm cured! Alcohol is a relaxant, Cat said. That's normal.

Well, for goodness sakes, how come I didn't get this memo sooner?! Now excuse me, I've gotta run to the liquor store and get some more pain killers. I'll be right back. (Uh-huh... pun intended.)