This Is The Point Where a G**damn GPS Might Come In Handy

Morning Workout
BIKE
99.79 miles
6 hours 24 minutes
3060 feet of climbing
Pain level: Annoyingly fatigued

Random Comments: About a year ago the speed/distance sensor on my bike stopped working. One minute it would show me doing 22 miles per hour, next minute it's at 2.2 miles per hour. It was annoying. I'd finish a four hour ride only to have my monitor tell me I rode 14 miles. Now I'm definitely no super-cyclist, but I know I can go further than 14 miles in four hours.

I thought of getting the sensor fixed. For months I talked about replacing this part or fiddling with that part. Then I realized that I really didn't want to get the darn thing fixed anyway. Honestly, I kinda despise having this clock constantly telling me how slowly I ride. It taunts me. It mocks me. I end up pushing myself to the point of exhaustion and then get frustrated in the end.

So I took the speed/distance sensor off my bike. Actually, I think I ripped it off. I may have uttered some profanities in the process.

You want to keep telling me how slow I go, you little shit?! I'll show you who's the boss. [I tear sensor from the bike.] How does THAT feel, fucker?! How do you like that now?! You wanna tell me I'm slow NOW?! HUH?! Speak up, punk!!

So anyway, when I go for my rides nowadays I really have no idea how far I ride until I can get home and map it all out. I can make a guesstimate - figuring that my average pace is such-and-such, and then multiply that by so-and-so, until I come up with a number that sounds like something I'd be happy with.

Take today, for instance. At about 5 hours into my ride I started the calculations. If I take 16 miles per hour times 6 hours.... but wait, maybe it was 15 miles per hour. No, that's not good. 15.65 miles per hour times 6 hours 17 minutes. Maybe that's what I need to do.

After about 40 minutes of doing complex multiplication in my head, I realized I had no clue how far I was going to ride. All I knew is that I wanted to do more than 100. And from what I can gather from the calculator in my brain, 6 hours and 10 minutes of riding would get me to 100. No problem. Just to make sure, I rode 6 hours and 24 minutes.

When I got home I took my ice bath, showered, dressed, ate and, while laying on the comfort of my couch, mapped out my run. I couldn't believe the results. I checked my mapping again. Yes, it was right.... I rode 99.79 miles.

99.79 miles?! Are you f***ing kidding me?!

I was pissed. Less than a quarter mile short of a hundred?! This is crazy. I felt like getting up and running my bike around the block. 99.79 miles. For goodness sakes. this is the point where a goddamn GPS might come in handy.