March 09, 2008

The Swim Was Crap

Morning Workout
16.5 miles
2 hours 30 minutes
440 feet of climbing
Pain level: Nothing to complain about. Except the achilles, I can complain about the achilles if you want.

4000 yards
Mental state: Drained. Like spaghetti.

Random Comments: Have you ever seen "Caddyshack"?

Let me tell you about today's swim.

I decided to go to the Santa Monica College pool to do my swim today, mostly because I was really tired after my run, it was a beautiful day and swimming outdoors in a nice, clean pool is just about the best thing to keep me motivated. The thought of trudging through 4000 yards inside the depressing dankness of the YMCA brings on an instant wave of depression.

I eased my body into the refreshingly cool water and began to swim. I was swimming slowly, but that was expected so I didn't get too worried about it. Suddenly, at about 15 minutes into my workout, I heard the lifeguards yelling something. I got to the end of the lane and stopped to figure out what they were saying.

Get out of the pool!! Everybody out of the pool now!!!

I was confused. Were they talking to me? Was I part of "everybody"? Or were they just talking to the masters swim class that was finishing up in the 7 lanes next to me.

Everybody out of the pool NOW!

I looked at my lane-mate, a bit befuddled. We both shrugged our shoulders, hoisted ourselves out of the pool and stood on the deck with the rest of the crowd.

Everybody started talking, mumbling and grumbling about the inconvenience.

I looked at the person standing next to me. Maybe it's a shark scare, I said in what I thought was a pretty darn hilarious joke. He didn't laugh. I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to my towel.

The pool is closing, a lifeguard announced. Refunds will be offered at the front desk.

Closing? Refunds? Huh?

One of my deep, dark, unfounded fears, is getting eaten by piranhas in a pool. Before you say anything, let me tell you that I know I'm not going to get eaten by piranhas in a pool. The chances of that happening are pretty low. Truth be told, I don't know if anybody has ever been eaten by piranhas while swimming in a pool. Still, it's something I think about, so please give me that courtesy.

Anyway, I glanced in the water, half expecting to see a school of piranhas. Nope. Nothing. However, why take chances - I decided to skip my swim workout and go eat enormous masses of food instead.

I grabbed my bag of clothing and started walking out. On my way, I stopped another lifeguard to ask what was going on. I suppose I had already assumed this was the case, but to hear him confirm it. Well.... blech.

Somebody had taken a crap in the pool.
Yes, you heard me right. Somebody shat in the deep end.

What makes this even worse, is that this is an adult-only pool. No kids. That means an adult, confident enough to swim in 12 feet of water (where said crap was discovered), decided that instead of walking the 100 yards to the bathroom, instead of maintaining some sort of decorum and decency, they would just take a shit right there, right then, and hope nobody would notice despite the crystal clearness of the water.


I headed for the door. But somewhere along the way I stopped. A little voice inside my head was whispering to me. Every workout counts, it said. Every workout counts.

Knowing that I would never forgive myself if I ignored that voice, I turned on my heels and reluctantly meandered over to the Kiddie Pool/Splash Pool/Pee Pool. I found a lane with people that seemed to know how to swim, eased myself into the 85 degree jacuzzi-like water, and finished my 4000 yard workout.

When I was done, I walked into the locker room and turned into the bathroom. I've always thought this was a clean bathroom. Then again, I suppose a good way to keep the bathroom clean is just to have people shit in the pool.


Pete said...

I've got one better...
Sharing a lane in a nice 50m pool in Ostend, Belgium, I see my lane-sharing-buddy getting out of the pool at the other side. I start my lap (a 50m drill), only to find a nice brown one at the other end. I must have really pissed him off with my paddles or butterfly... I got out of the pool, ran to the showers and washed myself 5 times right there, once more at home.
The pool however did not close down, people did not get refunds. I've never swam there again...