July 11, 2006

11 Things They Don't Tell You In Triathlon School

Eleven Things They Don't Tell You In Long Distance Triathlon School

1. No matter how much you like the taste of your hydration fluid, the simple thought of consuming another drop of it will make you feel severely ill halfway through the race

2. For any race with an in-water start, the time of day your wave goes off is directly proportional to the amount of pee in the water.

3. No matter where you start and no matter how many people are starting with you, you're gonna get hit and kicked at the beginning of the swim.

4. The best way to learn how to pee on your bike is to pee on your bike.

5. While your peeing, you might want to move a water bottle out of the way so there's at least one that is still safe to drink from.

6. If you read at night and you're training for your first Ironman, don't read a book about racing Ironmans (like, for instance, "Becoming An Ironman"). Even if you think it's motivating you, it'll keep you up all night and give you nightmares.

7. Twelve hours before a race, don't listen to any music you don't want circling in your head like a pack o' hungry vultures.

8. Whether you brush your hands across your feet or not, if you run across transition in your socks, you will get pebbles in your running shoes.

9. You want to go hard on the bike, I know you do. Trust me... don't. Save it for the run.

10. Body Glide isn't just for swimming. Don't be bashful - reach down your pants and rub a little in the private areas, it'll save you from some really painful chafing later on.

11. If nothing else, when you cross the finish line always make sure you smile.


tri_newbie_nerd said...

That was hilarious! I loved the one about the BodyGlide! hehehe!