Coach Gareth Joins The Show

My leg hurts. My quads are in pain. My shins are tight. My calves are sore. My right hip doesn't seem to want to work properly and I involuntarily let out a sad, painful groan everytime I take a step forward. The way in which I'm walking would make sense if, say, I were 102 years old and had recently been run over by a school bus. Unfortunately, I am neither 102 nor have I been so much as jostled by any large yellow object of late. Worse, I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in months. I wasn't even there that long; but apparently it was long enough to do some real damage. I know what it was - it was the squats that did me in. Only three short sets with light weights. Apparently not light enough. I'm weak. I'm feeble. I can't even call this strength training; there's no strength involved. This is more like weakness training. If there were a weakness competition, I feel like I've got pretty good odds of taking the trophy. Pound for pound, I'm confident that I can lift less weight than you. That's how lame I am.

This pain, though, is a sign; a sign that my serious training has just started. There are other signs too. Like, for instance, the fact that I just hired a trainer to get me in shape for the Ironman USA event. That's a pretty good sign, I guess. Yes, Cat and I hired Coach Gareth to coach us and help us go the distance in July. We both used Coach Gareth this past year for our respective training. He's British, but I try not to hold that against him. His teeth aren't horrible and, honestly, his funny accent is almost endearing. Gareth has trained quite a few professional triathletes and an even greater amount of schlubs, like me. This past year Gareth had me racing faster than I've ever raced before. And Cat? Well, she ended up winning the bronze in her age group at the Duathlon Long Course World Championships in Italy. That's why I like him, he knows how to turn a talented athlete like Catherine into a world class machine, and a lame-o like me into...um... a lame-o who's completed an Ironman.

We just got the first month's training program. I'm too scared to look at it. I haven't even started yet and it hurts. It's going to be a long 10 months...