October 26, 2006

Vodka To An Alcoholic

I’m not one for reality shows. You probably have heard of me – I’m the person who has never watched a full episode of Survivor, American Idol, The Apprentice or any of that other reality schlock that seems to be sucking the intelligence out of America’s brains, processing it through the TV Network meat grinder and turning everyday schmucks into celebrity multi-millionaires for reasons that are far beyond my grasp of understanding. I think it’s all kind of ridiculous. The truth is that reality shows are so far from reality. I’m more of an idealist than a realist anyway. Give me Aaron Sorkin over Mark Burnett any day.

I do, however, have one reality TV weakness and it has to do with the guy sitting on the plane I’m on right now, but a few rows in front of me. Have you seen the show Breaking Bonaduce? It is pure brilliance. Watching Breaking Bonaduce is like buying a fifth of vodka for a raging alcoholic. You know it’s not the smartest thing, but it feels good anyway. It’s not just like a car wreck, more like a car wreck, train wreck and plane wreck all rolled into one on-the-wagon/off-the-wagon psychotic breakdown. It’s the type of show that makes you equally fascinated and disgusted for watching it. Thirty minutes of pure mind candy.

Breaking Bonaduce is the story of Danny Bonaduce, most widely recognized as Danny Partridge from the Partridge family, former TV star, former music star, former radio DJ gone bad, former-current-former alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, psychotic, paranoic and all round wack-job. Danny married his wife after their first date, now they have a few kids and a marriage as rocky as the Paris-Roubaix. On the show, Danny has threatened homicide, suicide and matricide. He’s driven drunk, cheated on his wife, stolen a car and nearly beat the crap out of the film crew. He’s fallen so far off the wagon it’s amazing he didn’t break his neck on the way down. He’s tried to climb back on the wagon and nearly beat the crap out of the rehab clinic personnel in the process. Honestly, it’s amazing the guy is still alive.

I love it.

Anyway, as I said, Danny Bonaduce is sitting on this plane. It’s not that I’m star-struck, I just have never seen a circus freak up this close and personal.

Star Spotting Of The Day: Danny Bonaduce

: American Airlines, Flight 118 from LAX to JFK

What He Was Doing
: Sitting, reading, sleeping, flying. He’s much more exciting on television. Would it be bad if I bought him a drink?