October 09, 2006

Pink Elephant

There's a big pink elephant in the room - and it keeps taking a crap on my Post-Toasties. So let's shoot this bastard in the trunkal gland before it gets too overwhelming and I end up bonking on my morning ride due to a lack of edible breakfast foods.

The problem we're not talking about is the way people talk about the problems they're not talking about. The pink elephant, in other words, is the pink elephant.

You still with me?
[Don't worry, I barely am either...]

Here's the thing, there seem to be so many ways to refer to the major issues that we tend to ignore, I can't keep them straight. There's the three hundred pound gorilla and the five hundred pound gorilla. I've heard people use both and, truth be told, I'm not quite sure what the difference is aside from about 200 pounds of bananas. I suppose it has something to do with the enormity of the problem.

There's the elephant in the living room. Which makes me wonder if the only reason nobody is talking about the elephant in the living room is because everybody is huddled around the table in the dining room and don't even realize there's an elephant in the house at all.

Then, of course, there's our friend the pink elephant. Honestly, I don't know how the elephant got pink in the first place but it sounds like he may have been out in the sun a little bit too long.

I did a search on dictionary.com for "pink elephants" and this is what it came up with: any visual hallucination arising from heavy drinking. Which just makes me realize that the pink elephant in the room may only be in the room because we're all too damn hungover to realize he's not there in the first place.

Confused? Me too.
Honestly, I already forgot what my original point was in the first place.

So let's just pretend this never happend. We now continue with our regularly scheduled sarcastic blogging.